Friday, February 27, 2009

My Next Movie


As a couple is walking through the house for sale:
"This is the house you're looking for.
"This the house we're looking for."
"You want to pay full asking price."
"We want to pay full asking price."
"There are many fine amenities and the smell of the paper mill is piquant and delightful."
"There are many fine amenities and the smell of the paper mill is piquant and delightful."

And in less than a month, the housing crisis is over and the economy is restored! Yay! Everyone dances around like Ewoks.

Billy Beck today is just laden with good stuff. Go thou and read, read, read. Guitars, police-state thuggery and rational personal freedom all wrapped in his uncompromising and mordant style.
On the lighter side, Joe Sherlock posts a picture of himself as the victim of a train wreck. A model train wreck but it managed to whack him pretty hard. Heal fast, heal well Joe!

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

A Little Mashup Fun
Jandrew Edits is a page of brief and very funny mashups of Star Trek: The Next Generation clips. I'll find one featuring the dashing and cue-ball'd Patrick Stewart for our blog friend Gradual Dazzle. It made me laugh. One minute and five seconds of Picardy goodness.

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Horrifying Revelation
I looked in my closet a couple of days ago and realized that if I keep losing weight, I will never have to buy clothes again in my life. Apart from the hip-area underlayment garments of course. They do wear out. On the other hand, I may be wearing some clothes that are so far out of date that "retro" is a kind descriptor. Contrasting collar and cuffs anyone? I still like the Henley tees my ex bought for me.
Also, the Enigmatic Misanthrope was due for a bit of the old oral surgery recently. We hope he is doing well and the new gums (made out of Bubblicious as I understand it) are working well for him.
ALSO: Register. Get a free Quizno's sub.

Monday, February 23, 2009

A Medicine For Melancholy
I make it a point on Sunday evening to listen to one NPR radio show: "From the Top." It is a show that features the music of teenagers, maybe even into the early 20s who play classical music. And who play it very, very well.
When the gloomy doomy atmosphere hangs over the body politic like the Sword of Obamacles (OK, that was a stretch, I apologize), it is heartening to listen to the beautiful playing of youth who have chosen the discipline of effort to learn the enduring music of humanity. The teenaged oboist, the young cellist, the African-American who plays saxophone not for jazz or pop but for the classical repertoire that exists for Herr Sax's ophone. Well, jazz and pop are probably in there too but how nice to hear the more esoteric music as well.
And, just for your delectation is my friend the Guitar Nazi's newest axe:

That's PRS's Whale Blue on a gorgeous 10 top of flame maple. Really excellent flaming on this one - in person you can see the depth of the three dimensional
effect great flaming has. Notice also the "soapbar" pickups. Some names are obvious. Click the pic to embiggen.

Friday, February 20, 2009

OK Mr. Attorney General
Let's talk race you black son of a bitch.

Thursday, February 19, 2009

An Embed About One Of My Favorite Places
And taking the music of one of my favorite songs. Damn clever lyrically too. Enjoy!

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Lye-ing Sunzabitches
My mail order lye arrived yesterday. Bottom line: it was 16 oz of "100% Lye Drain Cleaner." I don't mind the price (two bucks) but the "shipping weight" of 12 pounds was a flat out lie of grotesque proportions. It arrived wrapped in a hank of bubble wrap and accompanied by a plastic air pillow in a USPS "flat rate envelope."
I'm going to post an Amazon review saying that the shipping weight is beef by-product and the shipping cost is unconscionable. What do they think this is? eBay?

Saturday, February 14, 2009

Oh The S Word
Today is a day wasted in the throes of a case of food poisoning. I had a can of soup and I did not, apparently adequately heat it. If I'm among the living on Sunday, I'll have to do some cleaning up. And a really long hot shower would not be amiss. But I don't have the strength to stand in the streaming water today.

UPDATE: Friends from Massachusetts were visiting locally this weekend so I went out to western Maryland on Saturday evening to conviviate. I ate dinner (roast chicken, potatoes, kale, salad, roasted red peppers) and I seemed to handle that all well. But Sunday morning I went back out to spend more time with the gaggle of folks and ate breakfast. That, did not sit well. So yesterday I felt like hell again but at least wasn't urping and rurping. Today, I think I'm amongst the living but I'm not planning on eating much of anything.

Friday, February 13, 2009

Is anyone out there unfamiliar with Red Devil Lye? It's been sold at my local Safeway since the memory of man runneth not to the contrary. I frequently use it to clean such things as kitchen dishrags, clothing that has such cleaning problems as other products are unable to touch (have you ever discovered a pillow case that has a pronounced yellowing from a lifetime of facial oil? Boil that sucker in lye.) So I don't use much but I like to have it around for occasional needs.
It's not being made anymore. It's not that Safeway isn't carrying it - it's not being manufactured any longer. In my Googling after being denied at the store, I learned that lye is one of the chemicals that's used in the production of methamphetamine. Of course it's also used in the making of soap and even some cooking (hominy anyone?) so if you're a regular person who might have reason to use a chemical that can be made from wood ash, you now have to adjust your use to the prohibitionist tactics of the "war on drugs." Let's just declare we've won and move on, okay? Like the Democrats wanted do with Iraq.
As it turns out, the making of lye itself is not banned but instead of going to my local grocery and purchasing a little plastic bottle of the stuff, I find it on Amazon for $1.99 with a shipping cost of $10.49. Not that it's "lye" that I'm buying but "100% Lye Drain Opener." Yeah, okay, right. Whatever. Now I'm probably on the DEA's watchlist for being a potential meth chef. "No, officer! I wanted to clean some pillow cases! Honest!"
Stangely, the Amazon page doesn't explicitly state the amount the container holds. But since the shipping weight is 12 pounds, I'm going to assume that I've just bought myself a lifetime supply of lye. If you come for a visit, I'll share. Bring a jar.

On The Other Hand: Skittles flavored vodka. I may have to try that. Where do I get those cool bottles?
A Rare Act
One on the blogroll was deleted today. A long-term blogroller she was but her vitriolic partisanship has become intolerable at last. Her blog lately is a cesspool of class envy, Republican bashing (Sabanes-Oxley, passed 99-0 by the Senate in the wake of business scandals blamed on Republicans by a partisan chattering class of media and politicans, is now an awful thing that the Republicans forced on the world), and utter lack of understanding of who Obama is ("at least he's doing something") and what the generational theft act of fake stimulus really is.
I thought she was smarter than that. I've been wrong before. And, no I'm not naming the blog as that usually leads to stupid, petty neener-neener-I'm-delisting-you foolishness. I just want to say why I did what I did.

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Bad Language Alert
Skip this post if you'd prefer not to have read bad, bad, naughty words.

Earlier I referred to Massachusetts congressman by my preferred term of art: "mush-mouthed Sodomite Barney Frank." I've arrived, now, at the realization that he can be called, with a high degree of technical accuracy, "that cocksucker from Massachusetts" instead. A bit longer but with more pith. And I thay, pith on him. Though he may like that so, no.
It also struck me that "congressman" has some freight inasmuch as he prefers congress with men.

Monday, February 09, 2009

News From Pug Acres North
The XMBD NMSE just sent me a picture which is far too charming not to share.In the middle is Weenie who is, and I quote, "a 10.5-yr-old Mini Dachshund weighing in at a whopping 9.5 pounds and making pugs look ginormous." The name came with the dog who was adopted just before Christmas.
I think this was effort by the ranch owners of Pug Acres North to cowboy up (i.e. "get a long, little doggie") and move toward a position where the average of dog snout length begins to approach the norm. Weenie is described as "a hoot." I believe it. Dash hounds are scrappy but sweet. May Weenie have a nice long run at his new home.

Something Inside Me Is Starting To Break Loose
Last night I slept horribly. I fell asleep in the recliner with the television on and a light on as well. Not my usual thing at all. But in the few hours I was actually absent from the world, I dreamed. I dreamed that I did standup comedy. In front of an audience. My act was coherent, reactive with the crowd and lasted, in non-dream time, probably about ten minutes. Today I'm starting the process of gathering what I've been writing into a single source so that I can put it together and make funny with it. Fingers crossed.

The other randomly vicious thought that passed unbidden over the shell-cratered landscape of my brain was the call by our president for a limit to executive compensation on those businesses that take federal recovery funds. Actually, I don't have a problem with that. It, after all, would be basic contract law. You take funding from the taxpayer, you will be held to these conditions. If that's unacceptable, then you don't suck money from the federal teat. I won't even get into the fevered fantasies of mush-mouthed Sodomite Barney Frank to try to impose salary caps on all business. He seems to want to destroy the American economy like he destroyed the housing industry. All the better to make citizens into serfs of liege lord government.
But the errant thought was about an aspect of salary capping that, to my knowledge, has not even been considered. To wit: Much is made by the left of Rush Limbaugh "using" the airwaves that are 'owned by all Americans." Well, so do the broadcast television networks. Why, then should Katie Couric be paid (Googling...) $15 million when she is "getting" the public's airwaves?

I think, if the left is actually going to go after Rush, I may have to start the movement to go after network anchors who are paid CEO salaries to read the news. Hell, Barack is an expert Tele-Prompter reader. He can do the news.

Friday, February 06, 2009

New Music
Emm Gryner's new disc "Goddess" arrived in the mail this week and I've been playing as obsessively as an slobbering fanboi would. I really want to say that "she goes from strength to strength" but her last CD "The Summer of High Hopes" was simply epically great, magnificent, a freaking marvel. This one is "only" damn good. How talented is this woman who has never put out a bad set of music and has three (out of ten) discs that are ... words fail me. I have to go back to epically great: "Public," "Asian Blue" and "Summer of High Hopes." Add in two discs of cover versions ("Girl Versions" of rock songs that have never been covered in such innovative ways and "Songs of Love and Death" of Irish music) which are superb and superbly interesting and half her entire body of work right there is ... amazing.
Aw hell, I could go on and on but I just wanted to get a quick post up on the fact that I have the new music and it's great. I'd put it on a par with her "The Great Lakes" and "Dead Relatives" which stand just behind the three epically great discs.
I strongly urge anyone who likes real music - melodic, well-played, well-sung to avail themselves of her work.

Thursday, February 05, 2009

To the woman who crapped in my car..
Date: 2009-01-25, 8:53PM EST
We met on Craigslist so I am hoping that this post finds you. I know that it could quite possibly be the most humiliating first date that you have ever been on, but I am willing to look past that.
I thought we had chemistry sitting at McMenamins sharing that basket of Cajun Tots while drinking the Terminator Stout. I really felt like there was a connection there. I found you to be intelligent and witty and looked forward to further conversation with you.
I’m the last person to judge you for crapping your pants. In fact, I am impressed by your boldness. The timing on the other hand, could have been a tad bit better…like when you’re not sitting on a heated leather seat…
What I am trying to say is that if you want to go out again, I would be more than happy to take you someplace where we can get a meal that is high in fiber and less taxing on the digestive tract.
I await your call,

P.S. - If you shat yourself on purpose to end the evening early…Touché…

Wednesday, February 04, 2009

Just twisted thoughts:

Because when you’re drunk enough, anything is awesome.

We're here for a good time, not a long time.

Live your life in such a way that
when your feet hit the floor in the morning,
The Devil shudders & says...'Oh shit..he's awake!!'

Free Tibet (Limit one per customer)

Fate is like a strange, unpopular restaurant, filled with odd waiters who bring you things you never asked for and don't always like.

Tuesday, February 03, 2009

A Couple of Random Thoughts On A February Day
First, the whole Michael Phelps kerfuffle. The champion swimmer gets his pic snapped sucking on a bong. I'm not in favor of the ganja but I'm not opposed to it, particularly, either. But it does lead to this fantasy:
Swimmer Michael Phelps today expressed his support for the Mexican bid to host the Olympic Games. Said the multiple medal winner: "I'd really like to get my hands on some Acapulco gold."

And then in the mood of these parlous, Shakespearean times, one is tempted to rewrite The Bard
, specifically, a famous phrase from "Richard III," to fit the mood of the electorate and this lie of a "stimulus" bill.
Now is the winter of our discontent made glorious summer by this ton of pork!