Painful Beauty
I'm now in possession of my new guitar. It is like Teri Hatcher's breasteseses on "Seinfeld:" spectacular. The quilting is deep-end-of-the-pool lush. Even if quilted maple is not the sound wood that flame maple is, this sweetheart sounds awfully good to me. The gold hardware, the "birds in flight" on the fretboard. That's not a sentence because I couldn't think of a sentence to wrap around those descriptions. Let's just agree that this as yet unnamed beauty is deserving of lavish praise.
So beautiful it hurts. Pictures will be posted.

Mashup
Here is a drop-your-groceries funny mashup of "Seinfeld" episodes with Michael Richards' stupid rant and even more idiotic apology. Enjoy.

How Exciting!
I got a call from my favorite guitar merchant. I have been expecting, as I've mentioned before, my next PRS by Q1'07. But something has come from the Wizard of Kent Island. It's a tad bit more than the axe (oh gor blimey! I'm not allowed to use that word until I actually play! sorry) I was expecting but I'll go for it anyway. I was expecting a Singlecut Trem Artist's Package in Emerald Green flame maple. The one that's in store is slightly different: it's a quilted maple top. My friend the guitar nazi tells me that quilted maple is not as good a tone wood as flame maple but quilted maple is so incredibly, unbelievably gorgeous, it defies belief. Here is one of the Private Stock models with a quilted top for your delectation. I link to a Private Stock model as I don't expect that link to rot. Keep in mind that what I expect to be mine will be a grassier green and shaped like a Les Paul. If that doesn't mean anything to you, you really should have skipped this post.
More details later including a picture. I'm preparing for my happy dance.

Endarkenment
Billy Beck is back, thank goodness. I hate to see a domain get into the hands of someone who doesn't deserve it. Especially when the domain is being used so well. Though I posted about his brief (as it turned out) submergence beneath the moist swells of the interweb, what I was carrying in my mind was how much I appreciate his continued dedication to illuminating the endarkenment. What specifically made me think of him, several days ago, was listening to Laura Ingraham's radio show which had a segment on Congressman Rangel's (D-Pinhead) call for a military draft.
We know that it's not going to happen as the military itself has come to the realization that a volunteer force makes a better army than a mass of conscripts. But someone, and here's where the ol' debil memory fails, took off on Rangel's idiocy to advocate universal "national service." And Ms. Ingraham (usually a smart cookie, though not nearly as smart as she considers herself) said something to the effect that she thought it would be a good idea! Service me selectively! "National service" is "involuntary servitude" with a FEMA team of cosmeticians and plastic surgeons to make it look pretty.
I'd really hoped this country had moved beyond any advocacy of slavery. And barring that, that someone as nominally conservative as Laura Ingraham would not be advocating such a stupid idea. Thus the endarkenment marches forward. We beat on, boats against the current. Let's just not suck civilization actually back into the past.

Noted In Passing
Billy Beck's Two--Four blog seems to have been hijacked at expiration. Even though it hasn't been overtaken but a day or two, I miss his uncompromising Libertarian, even Objectivist take on the endarkenment. Not to mention his fierce love of the 'lectrified gitbox. I was amused to see that he recently posted about what a kick-ass guitarist Brad Paisley is. Billy! What took you so long?
In any event, I hope he reclaims his territory soon.
Also, Insty 'n' the lovely Mrs. Insty's podcast with Orson Scott Card is not to be missed. Link goes to the mp3 version. Superb use of the medium. Heh. Indeed.

A Question Of Use
Is the phrase "tow the line" or "toe the line?" I believe a case can be made for either but it seems that the phrase, by origin. should properly be one or the other. I await your input.
UPDATE: Nailed it in one. Dale in comments provides an excellent link which I will not reproduce here so as to force you to read the comments. I entirely agree. "Toe the line" is the most logical phrase and, should I ever have reason to use it to use said phrase, that is the way it will appear. My thanks for the swift input.

Very Nearly The Last Post On Peppers
I have used almost all of the 4.25 lbs of jalapeno peppers in batches of pepper jelly and cranberry jalapeno jelly. I have peppers certainly for one more batch of pepper jelly and possibly two batches if I scale back on the 1/2 cup of them I've been using in the making. So I'll probably make one more full-strength batch and then a mild, final batch. I've gone through three cases of 1/2 pint jars, a half case of full pint jars as well as using all the loose jars I've accumulated in the course of buying things in jars worth saving. By which I mean the very cunning hexagonal jars in which Trader Joe's used to sell kalamata olive spread. I've had good reports on the pepper jelly and I tried the cranberry variety (based off a recipe for cranberry habanero jelly - ouch!) at Thanksgiving. Me likee. Cranberry and sweet with a nice glow in it. The final post will be a picture of all the jars of product when I'm done.
And there will be more hot peppers in the deck farm next year. Oh yes. Indeed there will.

Michael Richards And Me
I have no privity with Mr. Richards actually. But his latest stupidity in shouting modern America's one verboten word repeatedly on the stage of a comedy club does force me to recall an instance of my past involving a comedy club and the same word. Though when you go far enough back to encounter my brief stage appearance, it was just a bad word, not "The N Word" it has become today. Let's pick the year 1985 out of the bucket of years-gone-by as the date for this one. If it wasn't that year, at least it was close thereto. I worked at a bank that no longer exists, sucked into a series of mergers as is their wont these days. And I had a friend who was a very funny guy. He decided to throw some of his material on the wall to see if it stuck at an open-mic night at Garvin's comedy club in DC. I went along for moral support.
That being as it may, the Black MC of the evening, saw in me a prime target: a fat white boy asittin' amongst the audients. He pulled me up on stage to "teach me how to be Black." I went along. He had me follow him in some struttin' walks and then asked me "Can you say 'nigger?'" Well, of course I could but I didn't really want to. So I looked him in the eye and said, "And LIVE?"
Best laugh I ever got in a public setting. And the MC even laughed on it. He then let me go knowing that I could hold my own. He then went into introducing the tyros who'd signed up. Several people that I passed as I went back to my seat asked me if I were going on stage. I had nothing prepared so, of course, not. I missed a good chance to either become rich and famous or really screw up my life completely. Still and all, that's my experience with comedy clubs and the word that Kramer The Pinhead used to screw up his life completely.
Ha. I win.

The Non-Obligatory Music Post
Even as I type, sitting in my shopping cart over at Amazon is the Charlie Brown Christmas CD. I give myself a new CD of Christmas music every year and I finally realized that I was missing the UR-text of popular Boomer Christmas nostalgia. As soon as I assemble a few more items (why? free shipping of course! duh!), I will remedy my glaring omission. And it goes for a piddling seven bucks. Sweet mother of Dolly Madison snack cakes! That's about two bucks more than cost of materials.
But what music has crept in since last I posted? Little Feat's "Sailin' Shoes." Very possible one of the greatest albums of the early Seventies. At the very least, from one the greatest bands of the Seventies. Too bad Lowell George couldn't shake that China White monkey off his back. He was brilliant. And, like me, just too fond of the calories.
I've put the link to the Wikipedia page for a couple of reasons. First, because it tickles me that the album has its own page and secondly because the page is rich with links about the band and the disc. I am a strong believer that every music lover should have an extensive selection of Little Feat music upon which to call. Even the post-Georgian disc "Representing the Mambo" is well worth owning for just "Texas Twister" and the title track. Ah well, 'tis the fate of the artist to burn out lest he fade away. Lowell George is one that I wish could have stuck around a while longer.

One For The Memory Hole
A souvenir, as it were, of good times in the year of Our Lord Two Thousand and Six.

Hot Damn
Netflix has made my lady vampire dreams come true. "Underworld Evolution" divid for $7.00. Purchase - not rental. Mmmmm! Laaaady vaaammmpire!

Ha!
A pug video wins the $100,000 prize on America's Funniest Videos.
Damn skippy.

Old Rockers Never Die
I caught a few minutes of Robert Plant on PBS's "Soundstage" this evening. Good lord is he looking ravaged. In order to carry his looks he needs to weigh about 92 pounds. And he looks like he's been snacking on the bones of John Bonham as well as the corpses of Led Zeppelin songs for about the last two decades.
And to finish the title of this post: They just start to really suck.

Let Me Get This Straight...
The Democrats "New Direction" is McGovernment? The man who was buried by Nixon has now been disinterred. Shite. McGovernment - "We're pulling you out of Iraq and do you want fries with that?"

Lack Of Posting
Will continue for an indeterminate period. In fact, I'm seriously thinking of taking PoW dark for the rest of time. If I find the spark to post again, it will most likely be in a whole new blog. And there will be no pointer to the new one from this one. Of that, be assured.

More Great Ideas
I recently read a short piece in the noisepaper about "celebrity perfumes." The smell-in-a-bottle that has some movie or TV rent-a-skank on the label as if, say, Sarah Jessica Parker ("Lovely" - flag on the play! 15 yard penalty for inappropriate naming) suddenly found herself in a lab coat at International Flavors & Fragrances. Other "celebrities" - I swear that word alone is starting to make me vomit just a little in my mouth - in the article were Hillary Duff and Jennifer Loves Hertits.
I shouldn't neglect the fact that some men's packaged stinks come with the names of sports stars on them: Derek Jeter, Michael Jordan. Doesn't that just call up some aromatic images! Used athletic socks, stuffy locker rooms. Eeesh.
In any event, I though the perfume purveyors are missing at least one bet: a famed one-trick-pony Hollywood director of Indian extraction. I can picture it now ... "Introducing the the newest production from famed director M. Night Shamalamadingdong, 'The Sixth Scent.' Musky overtones of sandalwood and patchouli blossom and shimmer over a base note of rotting human flesh. Do you want to try it? Of corpse you do! Spray it on ... and expect a surprise ending...."
I should be getting paid for these flashes of brilliance.

What Else Have I Been Doing?

Making jelly of course. The background is part of the new baker's rack in the kitchen (by the way - "nice rack"). I had reason to sample a bit of it (left over from the third set of jars) and it's not nearly as hot as I'd like. I'll have to get some more jars and make some more. Man, I'll take any excuse to make more JELLEH!

So Far Behind
The posting as been light of late for a couple of reasons. I've had a house guest from out of state who is dealing with divorce issues in the DC courts. Since he comes to the local airport, I've been giving him the benefit of my digs and a trip to the Metro station on his court days. He's been a good guest and helped me out with a couple of projects that the other cause of my light posting has been impeding. Said cause being lower back grief that has been just ultra-mega annoying. I seem to be coming out of it now. Thank goodness.
My stinkin' back pain is also the reason I never got it together to carve this year's Dent-O-Lantern. The fault is mine and I will be abashed until I redeem myself next year.
And the final note in this apologia is simple: I (heart) atomic clocks. I have wanted a replacement wall clock for the battery-powered analog clock that I first put up in my bedroom for about the last year. I am easily awakened by sound and the ticking of the analog clock was enough to delay sleep. I really wanted an LCD clock that mimicked the analog display. But at (good old) Costco the other day I found an LCD atomic clock and, though it has a digital display, I got it. It's great! Date, time (with an incrementing dots around the perimeter display for the seconds), temperature, no need to set it, accurate to much-more-than-I-need-it-to-be. All in a lovely brushed stainless case. I'm thinking of getting another to replace the analog clock in the kitchen.