Lack Of Posting
I am loathe to be personal here on PoW. I (mostly) retain my anonymity. I eschew navel-blogging (the blogging of navel gazing). But I find myself in a position where I have to publicly acknowledge something I really have no desire to share.
I have a depressive personality. It has a strong genetic component (my paternal grandfather was a suicide) and it is exacerbated by pain and my tendency to draw inward instead of seek help. I have one singular ability which is to cover up my mental state on a day-to-day basis. I do things. I am in contact with people. But the fact of the matter is that I have been deeply, profoundly depressed for at least the last two months. I have finally come to the point where I have done something about it which requires that I acknowledge what I have been feeling. Let me not put too fine a point on it: I was in a state where I could rather easily have taken what I euphemistically call "an irrevocable action." I have given consideration to such at a few other times in my life and have always keep walking past the open windows. I believe I have spent the last several weeks lingering at the sill.
Yet, as of a couple of days ago, I have shut the pane and turned away. Now all the life that was going on behind me as I tarried is facing me and I will have to spend, probably, the rest of this month catching up to where I would have been at the end of May.
I post this by way of explanation. I have never felt an obligation to post to PoW but I have usually felt the desire to do so. That desire was absent. If I am to continue blogging, I felt it necessary to let those of you who have become acquainted with "BlogDog" over time what has separated me from my persona.
Personally, I owe a number of people a huge amount of effort and results, the output of which begins with this post. I will also offer my apologies, publicly, to those from whom I have removed myself. You do not deserve to suffer from my problems. I will do my best to make up for all that I have not done.
I will also try to bring my posting of interesting and amusing things back to a level where you readers will give PoW a daily look.