Whiskey Tango Foxtrot!
Yesterday afternoon I was cleaning my kitchen, which has a view of my li'l townhouse driveway. I had neglected to go out and get the noisepaper which was lying in its orange baggie down at the end of said driveway. That being as it was, I look out to see the school children walking up the road from the bus stop down the way. And one of the girls stops, looks at my newspaper, picks it up, dumps it out of the bag, leaves the bag and starts to walk away with it. Excuse me? You're stealing my newspaper. So I open the window and say "Please don't steal my newspaper. I paid for it. Just leave it." And she drops it in situ.
But holy hell. Bloody little thief. I'll know better from now on.