Dear Comcast
Hi. You don't know me but I run my home wireless LAN off a Verizon DSL connection. I don't have cable TV for several reasons that aren't really germane to this letter. What is germane is that I recently got a new big plasma TV. A 42 inch plasma TV. Wow. It's amazing. So amazing that I decided that I really do need to get a source of programming that does away with the vagaries of the broadcast signal.
I'd like to thank you for making my choice easy. I've seen your ads in TV feauring a pair of talking turtles oh-so-amusingly named the "Slowskys" who use DSL. Obviously. you think so little of me who uses DSL that I am just a dumb turtle who likes slow internet access. Screw you. I will be getting DirecTV or Dish Network, basically anything but Comcast cable service.
Please do me the great favor of imagining what I think of you.