Thursday, April 17, 2008

Here is a list of celebrities I expect may not make it to 2009…not in ranking order of course but none look particularly well…
1. Muhammad Ali- Cerebral Evaporation?
2. Jerry Lewis -Terminal Bitter Asshole-itis?
3. Lindsey Lohan- STD/Drug Overdose- Combination?
4. Dick Clark- Complete skin failure, dry rot?
5. Patrick Swazey- Dance Cancer, Horse trampling?
6. Farrah Fawcett- Anal Cancer, bowel obstruction, hairballs?
7. Elizabeth Taylor- Vomit Aspiration, Acute Alcohol Poisoning, Loneliness?
8. Zsa Zsa Gabor- Dismemberment by a “Dust Devil”, dry rot?
9. Amy Winehouse- STD/Drug Overdose- Combination?
10. Dame Margaret Thatcher- Cardiac Oxidation?
11. Paul Newman- Blue-eyed Rollers Rhea, dry rot, cooking accident?

Given my druthers I'd choose to have a big cartoon anvil come whistling out of the sky and accordion me, with some cool brightly colored cartoon stars and stuff popping out.

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