I've heard from some friends about my post yesterday and I want to make it public: That was an explanation of how I see things. I wanted to lay out (with a bit of literary flair I hoped) my view of what the entire spectrum of what I deal with is. I'm not at the low end any more. I'm working on building enthusiasm, part of which is starting to get done things that have hung fire for far too long.
It's bad enough to have had a hard slog but then I'm faced with all the things that I wasn't able to get done while I was in such bad stead. Reminds me of that old fairy tale about the cobbler's elves. But I need daytime elves who can do paperwork. And drive. And getting paying jobs wouldn't hurt either. Wait - aren't those called "children?" Drat. I knew I'd forgotten something.
UPDATE: Thanks for your phone call, you-know-who-you-are. I appreciate your taking the time. I hope you understand where I am and where I'm trying to go. And I think you do.
I also have to give thanks to friends I have. I have this tendency to think of myself as separate from the flow of life. When I'm not with someone, I don't expect that person to even think of me. I dissolve when I'm not physically present. I know this is a non-rational idea but I've removed myself from a lot of life and that attitude is part of it. Bad! Bad attitude! No soup for you!