Monday, November 01, 2004

Sometimes I Have Ideas
And sometimes I should really, really, really just keep my mouth shut. In the first category, I think it would make a good sketch on Saturday Night Live to have an "Antiques Roadshow" parody. Specifically, the latest incarnation of "AR" featues strangely ovalized host Lara Spencer (you would perfer Chris Jussel again perhaps? -Ed.). It made me think, what if Antiques Roadshow were hosted by Lara "Tomb Raider" Croft? Every item that's featured would turn out to be a relic of some ancient who used it to alter time or turn base metal into gold or give the wearer ultimate power and she would then be obliged to kill the owner and deliver the relic to the proper authorities.
And the final payoff would be that the last object presented would be something hideously dangerous (an Aztec nuclear bomb) and she just lets that one go.
As far as the second category goes - I keep having the idea of the latest tape of Osama Bin Ladin as a new release at Blockbuster.
"Is this available on DVD?"
"Of course. You can get it as a two-disc, special edition, director's cut with outtakes, a 'making of' featurette and a commentary track from Ken Burns."
This, as an idea, is only marginally better, and not nearly as funny, as the idea for a "Naziopoly" board game. ... Don't ask.

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