I bought a product at Costco the other day and I'm going to present to you what was written on the back of the box. I'm going to obscure some of the text (highlight the gap to reveal it) so as to not give away what it is. What I'd like is for you to suggest what it is.
Enjoy A Zen Moment Every DayGot all that? Good. With all the "mental balance" and "spiritual fulfillment," it could almost be some new regimen along the lines of tai chi. Or maybe chai tea. But it's pretty evident that it's a cereal. And it's pretty good. I like the cranberries. I like the ginger - heck, I wish there was more ginger flavor in it. But oh fer overblown, New Agey nonsensical boolshite! The function of my breakfast cereal is to taste good going in and make the "end product" soft and fluffy. On those grounds, I have no complaints. So why does Nature's Path subject to me to this nonsense? Seriously. Does this flapdoodle persuade anyone to buy this?
Look forward to morning again. Bring back the peaceful sigh of being in tune with yourself, those carefree days when all you have to do is enjoy physical and mental harmony. That's a "Zen" moment, where health, mental balance, spiritual fulfillment come together and you can "be" the best you are.
We believe Optimum Zen™ helps carry the feeling throughout the day, promoting those complete moments of mind, body and spirit. Through Optimum Zen™ we have captured that satisfying essence and inner balance with a blend of organic whole grains, gently sweetened, combined with the subtle warmth of ginger,the tang of dried cranberries and the crunch of blended grains and soy. Optimum Zen™ provides a serenity and calm for your busy world.
Optimum Zen™ is a high fiber cereal with organic whole grains including brown rice. It also contains a unique non-soluble fiber called inulin, a natural prebiotic fiber found in chicory root. Prebiotics are dietary fibers that are a food source for benficial bacteria in the intestinal tract. That's a good thing!
For thousands of years, Asian cultures have accepted the use of ginger for enhanced health. These cultures believed that ginger may have a cleansing effect, help digestion and encourage inner harmony. With a subtle hint of organic ginger, Optimum Zen™ continues the tradition.
The addition of whole organic cranberries gives Optimum Zen™ a well rounded source of antioxidants and phytochemicals that may reduce the risk of some chronic diseases. The tangy taste of cranberries complements the ginger flavor and nutty tasting organic whole grains found in this cereal.
And, being organic means no artificial additives and/or preservatives, or genetically engineered ingredients. In addition to the great taste, this organic cereal is a good source of fiber and soy isoflavones.
A great way to find a healthy balance, inner harmony, peace - Optimum Zen™. Part of a healthy lifestyle.
Obviously, it's not the cereal that leaves me with indigestion. Still and all, I've had a few of the "Optimum" cereals and I like them. They're granola in a hippy way- just not in a specifically granola way. Granola is actually fairly high in fat (oils, actually) which is what makes it acceptable. These cereals don't have granola's fat (if you follow the link, there is extensive nutritional information) and they're not oversweet. Despite my ripping on this silly-ass text, I can recommend the product. So try it. Just don't figure on using the box for reading material.
And my dictionary widget defines "prebiotic" as "existing or occurring before the emergence of life." Somehow I find it difficult to imagine that a dietary fiber, even one good for intestinal fauna, occurred before the emergence of life. Maybe a nice big bowl of Primordial Soup for dinner would go well with this breakfast.