Not A Gay
"Desperate Housewives" star Marcia Cross comes out of the closet as a heterosexual. Stunned Hollywood gasps.

Kidding aside, straight men all over America cheer the news. She is one of those perfect expressions of a type - utterly hot redhead. If I watched her show, it would be to see her, not the other ones. Note that I said "if."

Also not a gay: Prince Charles. PoW offers its congratulations that he finally has the chance to marry the woman he loves (as it appears) even if his mummy will forever keep him from becoming king.